Joan Allen during “The Bourne Supremacy” Press Conference with Matt Damon, Joan Allen, Fanka Potente … [+]
Do you remember David Letterman’s old skit, “Brushes With Greatness?” He would embellish chance encounters with celebrities, using a good dose of humor in so doing. We’ve all had such moments. I was thinking back over some of my own recently. Most have been quite embarrassing, to me, at least.
Given that it’s the holiday season, and given all of the insanity that’s transpired this past year, we might all lighten up a bit. So I thought I’d share a few of my “brushes with greatness.” Try not to laugh too hard.
LAUNDRY DUTY:
When I lived on West 90th Street in New York, I dutifully did my laundry early on Saturday mornings. There were only a few machines available in the basement, and I wanted to get started before the place got too busy. A woman named Joan was often there, too, who had the same idea.
We would chat, of course, being the only ones down there. Turns out she was a closet adventurer – or at least professed to be – and always wanted to hear about my latest escapade. I was climbing mountains at the time, so that was usually the topic – Matterhorn, Aconcagua, Kilimanjaro – whichever peak I had just returned from.
One time I had the television on, in my apartment upstairs as background. I wasn’t really paying attention, but did spy out of the corner of my eye what looked to be my laundry companion on a show called Actors Studio.
When I saw Joan, I mentioned that I thought I had just seen her on TV. She matter-of-factly asked which show. I mentioned the name, and she said, “Sure, I’ve been on that.” A bit surprised, I asked if she were an actress. She said yes, folding clothes, again matter-of-factly. I asked what productions I might know her from. “Nixon,” “Mission Impossible,” “The Crucible,” “Heidi Chronicles”…
Well, it was none other than the thrice Academy Award-nominated, Tony Award-winning actress, Joan Allen. I had never put it together! Here, I had been blabbing on about my mediocre life when we could have been discussing her acting roles and truly interesting life. Needless to say, we both got a good chuckle from the experience, but man, I felt like an idiot, still do. What a humble and genuine person Joan Allen is.
Sir Ben Ainslie instructs actor Mark Ruffalo and reporter Jim Clash on safety procedures prior to … [+]
YACHT RACING:
In 2016, I was writing a story about America’s Cup yacht racing. As part of the piece, I was invited to ride in the center hammock at the back of the Land Rover boat during an actual race in New York Harbor, near Wall Street.
As prep, we trained with life preservers and practiced emergency procedures in the event of a mishap on the water. Sir Ben Ainslie, the famous captain of the U.S sailboat Oracle that beat New Zealand in 2013 by coming back from six races down in a best of 17 America’s Cup shootout, was our instructor.
Once we got into the race itself, I was to alternate in the center seat with one of the journalists with whom I had trained. So he and I switched places several times while waiting for enough wind to start the competition.
I noticed that he seemed to be getting more seat time than me. A little irritated, I asked the Land Rover public relations person why that particular journalist was receiving preferential treatment. She looked at me and said, “That’s no journalist, that’s the actor, Mark Ruffalo.”
The Hulk! Like with Joan, Mark was low-key, humble and all of that, and, again, what an idiot I felt like. I did get a photo of Mark on the boat, which he later tweeted, so all was not lost.
Portrait of American jazz musician Max Roach (1924 – 2007), dressed in a sweater, as he poses behind … [+]
MUSIC:
Years ago at the Iridium, a well-known jazz club in New York, I was at a center table waiting for Ginger Baker’s Denver Jazz Quintet to take the stage. At the time, I was writing a story about a possible Cream reunion, and hanging with the legendary Cream drummer.
Seated across from me was a friendly chap who looked a little like Bill Cosby. He asked some questions about what I did for a living. I told him about my adventure writing, but also that I had had a 15-seconds-of-fame stint as drummer in a business parody rock band called The VPs.
We had done the New York Club scene in the late 1980s, released a few LPs and were featured on a slew of broadcast shows including Good Morning America and BBC’s Breakfast Time, and in USA Today and The New York Times Magazine. The group would take classic rock songs, and rewrite the lyrics to satirize the business world and yuppiedom, calling it BizRock. “Love Potion No. 9” became “Stockbroker on the Line,” “Secret Agent Man” became “Madison Avenue Man.”
After like 15 minutes of babbling on about this stuff, I finally asked the guy what he did for a living. He said he was a drummer, but focused on jazz, not rock. He rattled off some famous jazz tunes. I finally asked his name. Max Roach, came the response – one of the greatest jazz drummers of all time! I winced.
Later, backstage after the show, Ginger, with a twinkle in his eye, scolded me: “You didn’t know who Max Roach was?” He had seated me next to Max on purpose, thinking the legend might give me some useful information for my Cream story.
In the film, “Pulp Fiction,” when Uma Thurman and John Travolta first meet, Uma asks John, “Do you listen, or just wait to talk?” There’s a lesson in that.
