Taylor Swift might now know how topical her song “Florida!!!” is when it comes to the state’s political scene.
As the State Watchdog Reporter for USA TODAY Network-Florida, I cover the state government in Tallahassee. Any given day, you can find me watching a press conference with Gov. Ron DeSantis, looking through medical examiner data or interviewing state legislators about the bills they’ve sponsored.
But today, I’ll be writing about Taylor’s lyrics and how “Florida!!!” they really are.
If you didn’t stay up until 4 a.m. to listen to Taylor Swift’s new highly anticipated album “The Tortured Poets Department” then you’re one of the few who don’t have an opinion on the song “Florida!!!”
The song, featuring Florence Welch with Florence + The Machine, depicts the state like an old frontier town – disorderly and dark, with murder, binge drinking and drugs – the opposite of Gov. Ron DeSantis’ tough “law and order” stance on crime.
“We’re proud of being a law and order state,” DeSantis said last week as he signed five public safety bills in St. Petersburg.
The governor has repeated the mantra at almost every press conference this spring. Whether it was signing a bill that would allow homeowners to remove squatters from their property or warning spring breakers in Miami, DeSantis has criticized blue states like California and has compared them to Florida.
“What passes muster in New York and California is not passing muster here,” he said when he signed “Property Rights” bill (HB 621) in Orlando in March.
Florida (Taylor’s version) is different. Her lyrics echo the Sunshine State stereotypes that DeSantis is actively trying to change.
Regardless, the verses of “Florida!!!” hit news peg after news peg in every stanza, and it’s easy for me to write about the latest in Florida politics using Taylor’s talents. Maybe Generation Alpha will subscribe to the paper after this.
‘You can beat the heat if you beat the charges too’
Is Taylor talking about the heat preemption law DeSantis signed last week?
The measure was in response to a Miami-Dade County proposal, which suggested mandated breaks in the shade on the hottest days – but Florida said no and passed HB 433. It bars local governments from establishing policies regarding heat exposure requirements not otherwise required under state or federal law.
During this year’s legislative session, Sen. Jay Trumbull, R-Panama City said he sponsored the bill to gain support for a statewide mandate to follow federal Occupational Safety Health Administration (OSHA) regulations.
But the law has frustrated and angered some experts and advocates for construction workers and farmworkers, who say workers need more protections, not fewer.
‘And my friends all smell like weed or little babies, and this city reeks of driving myself crazy’
Smelling like weed is something DeSantis has warned Floridians time and time again may happen if a constitutional amendment on the ballot this November passes.
The proposal, known as Amendment 3, will legalize the “non-medical personal use of marijuana products and marijuana accessories by an adult” 21 or older if approved by 60% or more of statewide voters. It would take effect six months after the election.
DeSantis said he thought medical marijuana was enough for Florida.
“This state will start to smell like marijuana … it will reduce the quality of life,” he said. “Do we want to have more marijuana in our communities? I don’t think it’ll work out well. But it is a very, very broad amendment.”
‘So you work your life away just to pay For a time-share down in Destin’
This session, local governments lost authority to the state on vacation rentals. The new law also created overnight occupancy limits, and fines for rental violations would be capped at $500.
There were just under 27,000 vacation rentals licensed with the state in 2022, a number seen as capturing only a fraction of the rentals likely in operation.
Lawmakers have been scrapping over vacation rentals for more than a decade, advancing policies that toggle between more state control and more hands-off. This year, the state comes out on top, unless DeSantis vetoes the bill.
DeSantis hasn’t commented on the latest legislation and his office declined to offer insight into his thinking.
‘Florida is one hell of a drug’
If Taylor is talking about literal drugs, that’s an issue Florida’s lawmakers have continued to crack down on. This year, Florida added tianeptine, ‘gas station heroin,’ to the Schedule I.
In early April, DeSantis signed “Exposures of First Responders to Fentanyl” (SB 718) and said it would “make sure that the people that wear the uniform are protected,” although medical experts say the new law could potentially cause harm and discourage bystanders and family members from calling 911 during an overdose.
DeSantis also announced an expansion of the Coordinated Opioid Recovery (CORE) Network, an effort between the state’s Department of Health, Department of Children and Families and the Agency for Health Care Administration. Its aim is to curb the number of deaths caused by the polluted drug supply and will be expanded to 29 counties.
The program, which started in 12 counties in 2022, connects people with medication treatment, recovery programs and peer support.
‘The hurricane with my name when it came, I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away’
This is Florence’s line. It’s pretty obvious – Hurricane Florence hit in 2018. This year, an “extremely active” hurricane season is likely, according to weather forecasters.
Last year was the fourth most active season on record. Hurricane Idalia was the only U.S. landfalling hurricane in 2023. It made landfall as a category-3 hurricane on Aug. 30 near Keaton Beach, Florida, causing storm surge inundation of 7 to 12 feet and widespread rainfall flooding in Florida and throughout the Southeast, NOAA said.
‘Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. Well, me and my ghosts, wе had a hell of a time’
Floridians will soon be able to buy giant bottles of wine – up to 15 liters in volume. Nebuchadnezzars should be on shelves July 1.
“There was really no public policy reason why we should have this (previous) regulation and this is a regulation that had been in place for many, many decades,” DeSantis said at a bill-signing ceremony in Wine Watch, a Fort Lauderdale wine shop.
The new law also allows smaller big bottles, including 4.5-liter, 6-liter, 9-liter and 12-liter.
‘And your cheating husband disappeared, well, no one asks any questions here’
One of Florida’s most famous disappearing husbands was the spouse of “Tiger King” star Carole Baskin, who is asking the Florida Supreme Court to protect her against a defamation lawsuit filed by the longtime assistant of her missing former husband.
Leading up to the airing of “Tiger King,” a Netflix documentary series that became a cult phenomenon in 2020, Baskin endeavored “to address a false storyline (that) suggested she killed her former husband,” according to legal filings from the star.
Baskin read aloud old diary entries on her YouTube channel and posted on her website accusations that McQueen, who had appeared on the show to discuss Baskin’s former husband’s mysterious disappearance, embezzled and committed other misdeeds.
McQueen sued Baskin for defamation in Hillsborough County Circuit Court, but a judge there said the assistant had no grounds to sue. A state appeals court disagreed with the lower court.
Now Baskin is asking the state’s Supreme Court to weigh in, raising the stakes on a series of legal arguments encompassing the First Amendment and defamation law.
‘So you pack your life away just to wait out, the sh*tstorm back in Texas’
DeSantis talks about Texas a lot at his press conferences.
The governor and members of his administration routinely blast President Joe Biden and Republican members of Congress for their response to the increase of immigrants coming through the country’s southern border.
DeSantis reestablished the State Guard in 2022, and in February of this year, he sent more than 1,000 Florida National Guard members and State Guard Soldiers to Texas to help stop what he called “the invasion at the southern border.” They joined Highway Patrol, Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission and Florida Department of Law Enforcement members already there, a press release said.
Also in February, Taylor got wrapped up in a conspiracy theory about the president. Nearly 1 in 5 Americans, mostly conservatives, believed the singer is part of a covert effort to help Biden win the 2024 election, according to a Monmouth University poll.
Two-thirds of Americans, however, are supportive of Taylor’s efforts to increase voter turnout.
‘So take me to Florida‘
The song ends with a shout out to this refrain I’m attributing to the state’s population boom. According to the U.S. Census, Florida experienced a net migration of more than 200,000 adults in 2022.
Come to Florida, Taylor. This is an official invitation. I’ll grab the Nebuchadnezzars.
USA Today, John Kennedy and Douglas Soule contributed background information to this story. Ana Goñi-Lessan is the State Watchdog Reporter for USA TODAY – Florida and can be reached at [email protected]. Follow her on Twitter/X: @goni_lessan.
