There are a lot of things to mourn at the end of a relationship, the companionship, the comforts of routine, and also – all the plans you already had in the books.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man grappled with this very issue: the plans he had in the books with a now-ex. He wrote:
I'm working overseas right now and I managed to get tickets for Taylor Swift in Singapore. The concert is this coming Saturday. My plan was to fly my girlfriend over for a little vacation. It's a long ways from Connecticut so she was going to be staying for ten days. I was clear and I told her that we would have two weekends together as well as the evenings but that I still had to.work during the daytime.
Last week she called me and said she was not okay with is being long distance and that after the concert we were over. I asked for clarification. She said she would come for the ten days and we could “have fun” but that we were done. I can have fun without paying for it. I transferred her the one ticket and cancelled everything else. She called me to scream at me for cancelling the flights and hotel.
I told her that I wasn't going to discuss it and hung up. I blocked her on everything. I am hearing from people back home that she has lost her s**t. She had been bragging about getting to see Taylor Swift and the vacation. Now she is telling everyone that I cancelled the plans just out of the blue. I guess that is sort of true. I did not discuss it with her before I made my decision and did what I did.
I unblocked her long enough to offer to buy the ticket back if she wasn't going to use it. That conversation was unpleasant and involved a lot of profanity. The upshot was she would rather let it go to waste than let me have it. Her friends have been defending her and calling me an AH. My position is that I would feel like a John flying her over for “fun.”
Illustrious_Pain392 wrote:
Why did you transfer the ticket to her. Did she pay for the ticket? You should have just cancelled everything and told her, 'too bad. You should have waited till the concert was over. Not my problem you haven't learned the concept of timing or relationships.'
OP responded:
The ticket was a birthday gift.
widowjones wrote:
She’s the dumbest person on earth for warning you that she was going to dump you after using you for a vacation. Come ON. NTA.
OP responded:
I think she thought ten days of sex was a good trade.
WielderofAphorisms wrote:
NTA.
She broke up with you. You’re no longer obligated to finance her holiday.
Canadiangirl1984 wrote:
NTA do her friends know she was planning on ending your relationship after she got to have her awesome trip? If they do they they are sh**ty people as well.
human_picnic wrote:
Everyone is giving you sh*t for giving her the ticket, but honestly I think it’s an amazing move. I read that it was a birthday gift, after she had given you a nice one for your birthday. So you’re square. Also it’s a great “f#$k you” to give the ticket, and dare her to find her own way there. I dunno I love it. NTA obviously.
tdybr07 wrote:
NTA…as I posted on the other one…you aren’t her personal ATM machine, nor are you a doormat. She wanted her cake and to eat it too. She FA and FO. Sounds like a personal problem for her.
I say go to the show, since you have the other ticket. Have a great time! Take pictures. Send them to her friends, post on social media for all to see…don’t think twice about it. Just have a great time, and do you. If she magically appears at the concert, be cordial. Nothing more. Don’t have drunken fun and reopen that can of worms again because she isn’t a decent person.
Plenty_Metal_1304 wrote:
NTA. You are a better person than I am because I would have cancelled or sold the ticket as well. I don't see how she thought that you would still pay for her flight and accommodation after she told you that you're done after the concert. Keep her and her friends blocked.
Iodenscore wrote:
NTA LOL the entitlement of that girl. If she had some forethought she would've broken up AFTER the weekend and then all would've been good. (still a sh#tty move thou ) But no, she felt entitled enough to break up with you before the event, expecting you to still pay for everything and then gets enraged when you go ” ok lol bye ” You Sir, with the shiny spine, is def. NTA.
My ex sold me back her ticket at face value. She couldn't find anyone interested in paying for her flight and hotel over. I didn't want to see Taylor Swift but it was easy to sell a pair of tickets for a nice bit of change. I wish I had more to tell. I wish I could say that I went to the concert and met a lovely woman that my ex sold the ticket to.
I wish I could say my ex flew out on her own dime to win me back at the concert. None of that would be true. I made money selling something I bought for a woman I thought I was going to marry. I'm glad I found out what sort of person she really is before I made that mistake. Sorry this isn't more exciting. Thanks everyone for helping me see my way through this.
No_Lavishness_3206 wrote:
I'm sorry that you didn't get a movie ending to your story. I'm glad you realize you dodged a bullet with your ex.
Icy_Growth1619 wrote:
That's a great ending. You didn't get f#$ked for life. Made money. And got a life experience for the next round. If you ask me you did great. Chin up!
United_Fig_6519 wrote:
It does not have to be exciting. You learn thankfully in time she was not as much into you as you were to her. It is better you found out now and not after the concert. Now you can concentrate on bettering your life. Work hard, travel, try new foods, see new places, meet new people. She is not worth to wallow over.
Dave10293847 wrote:
Maybe unexciting but the “she couldn’t find anyone interested in paying for her flight and hotel” pulls as much weight as an ox.
Maybe she’ll be a little more appreciative in the future when people spend resources on them.
rumncoco86 wrote:
The way you handled yourself was a class act, after she thought she could take advantage of your generosity.
I'm sorry she turned out to be a pill. May you find someone better suited to you, and more deserving of your generosity.
OP is def NTA here, he was a class act through and through.
